(As always, these are ideas. You may be led to do something else. That’s fine. The most important advice I can share is to relax and have fun. When kids are ready and you take advantage of their readiness, they almost potty train themselves.)
Begin by preparing your thought. This will not be the most miserable experience in your life. In fact, it can be fun.
Bring the potty out to the area of the house where you spend the most time. Encourage your child to sit on it – with diapers on or off. It doesn’t matter at first.
Read books about potty training. There are many titles to choose from. You and your child might have visiting the bookstore together to pick out a few.
Choose a time that you’re child will always try to use the potty. Some suggestions might be: first thing in the morning, right after lunch, just before bath. Make it a routine.
(Personal opinion – however, several parents agree with me and this is what I have witnessed in my experience of watching many children go through the training process.) With few exceptions, Pull-Ups do nothing to help with potty training and actually do damage to the process.
As your child becomes accustomed to using the potty at one regular time during the day, add another and another.
Do not begin the actual potty training until your child can use the potty with success. Sitting on the potty will help your child become more relaxed. Until they are relaxed and comfortable sitting on the potty, they will not release their urine or bowels.
Once your child is able to stay dry for at least an hour (most will say 2-4 hours, but some children can stay dry longer but just don’t while in diapers) and has demonstrated that he can use the potty successfully, watch for signs of interest.
The signs include:
- being interested when others go to the bathroom
- wanting to go to the bathroom with others
- telling you when he’s wet or dirtied his diapers or is about to
- telling you that he has to go to the bathroom
- can follow simple one command instructions, such as, throw away the napkin.
Potty training should begin when you see these indications. The window is open. Seize the moment. And any other adage that applies…Go for it. They don’t always pick the best time for you, but waiting until you’re ready or the time is right for you, may mean missing their window of opportunity.
Go to the store with your child. Let them pick out the “coolest” type of underwear they can find. Let them know that they can wear it as soon as they are able to keep their diapers dry and clean. We wouldn’t want to mess up Bob, the Builder, Ariel or whoever.
When dedicated potty training begins, buy a timer – the kind that dings or rings or makes any other sound.
The timer should be set for a half hour so that your child is trying every half hour. If they use the potty successfully, set the timer for an hour. Then go back to half hours until they use the potty again.
When the timer goes off, say, “The timer says it’s time to go to the potty.” This is more impersonal than your saying it’s time to go. Plus it’s hard to argue with a timer.
After announcing it’s time to go to the potty, give choices that are equally acceptable to you. Each choice should lead you closer to the desired goal – your child sitting on the potty. Examples: “Would you like to take this little guy with you or leave it here until you’re finished?” Would you like to walk or would you like for me to carry you?” And so on.
Never ask, “Would you like to try to use the potty?” There’s no need to ask that question. I can already answer it for you. The answer is “No.” They would rather do whatever they are doing.
I’m a big believer in rewards for potty training– not big rewards. When your child uses the potty, clap your hands, sing songs, dance around like crazy, loose all sense of dignity. This is big! The end of diapers is in sight. Doesn’t that make you want to sing, dance and shout for joy? In addition, you can give your child a treat, but the clappying and singing may be enough. Some ideas that parents have used in the past are:
o 1 M&M
o a sticker
o light the candle when they sit on the potty. If they use it successfully, they get to blow the candle out.
o the child places a sticker on a poster board. When dad comes home, the child climbs up on daddy’s lap and shares the successes.
o Be creative. What speaks the most to your child?
I will never forget sitting in my office one day with a colleague when the phone rang. When I answered it, a little voice on the other end said, "Mrs. Dutton, I just went peepee in the potty." This was big news. Indeed, worthy of a call to one of his teachers. My colleague, being used to working with high school students got quite a kick out of this call!
Once you switch from diapers to pants, don’t go back to diapers. The exception is bedtime. If they’re in pants during the day, they may still need diapers at night. Once they’re trained during the day, it’s usually within a couple of weeks that they are able to stay dry at night.
Because you should avoid going back to diapers after switching to pants, be sure they’re ready for the switch. They should be keeping the pants clean for about a week before the switch. No hard and fast rule. You’ll know.
Staying dry at night is more of a bladder development issue than a training issue. If your child is having trouble staying dry all night, take them to the potty just before you go to bed at night. Take them in the middle of the night. And cut out beverages after dinner.
A clever idea for cutting down on the time it takes to change sheets in the middle of the night is to layer the bed with a water-proof mattress cover, then a sheet, then another water-proof mattress cover and sheet. Continue for at few layers. If your child has an accident in the middle of the night, simply pull off the top sheet and water-proof mattress cover and go back to bed.
Children will continue to need reminders even after they are trained, especially if they’re busy. Tell the child that it’s time to go rather than asking if they would like to go.
Be prepared to visit the bathroom every time you are out. We used to call it the “Potty Tour.”
· Some fun ideas shared by other parents –
o Have your child potty train a doll or toy figure while they’re also potty training. It will help cement the concept for them. You know you never really know something unless you’ve taught it.
o Target practice (for boys): Put a couple of Fruit Loops in the toilet. Challenge your son to sink them. For BM (girls and boys): Again, can they sink the cereal?
o Add red or blue food coloring to the water in the toilet. When they urinate, the water turns orange or green. That’s pretty cool to them – and teaches about color.
Enjoy the process. Relax. "No more diapers" is in sight!
