I like to think of the foundation for a parent/child relationship as a block that can be built upon. The four corners of the block are trust, love, respect and principle. Forming the solid block begins the day a baby is born.
Can my child trust me? Do I value their confidences? If not, I cannot expect my child to be trustworthy. My example contributes far more to the values and lessons I give my children than my lectures ever will.
Trust and respect look a lot a like during the early years and do go hand-in-hand as our children grow. Just like our children, we need to be trustworthy of our child's trust. It's not a given.
Do I show up when I say I will?
Do I honor their privacy appropriately?
Do I follow through on commitments made to my children?
Am I honest not only in my dealings with my children but with everyone?
I'm struck by the situations parents are faced with regularly. You're going to dinner, the amusement park, the movies, or any number of places. Your child missed the child's rate, but he looks young. Do you go for the child's fare or pay the right price for his age? It's tempting to think that your child won't notice, but trust is an attitude. The few dollars you save may cost you far more in the long run by sending the message to your child that it's ok to cheat and that being trustworthy is not important. On the other hand, the parent who chooses to do the right thing will be sending an important message to his child. If you're going to be honest with strangers. they trust that you will always be honest with them.
